And, BTW Chuck… I Already Performed My up-Chuck for-the-day, so fuck off!
And git outta my face!
****
Fuckin’ Dated! Profane Profanity! (With Special Guest Star Cordelia)
I am So Far Away From “Give-a-Shit-Land” that even If I had Unlimited Access to the Hubble: It would Make as ’bout as Much and Concern to Me as a Cup of Warm Copenhagen Spit!
I’d Just FLUSH IT Along with all the Other sUPER-dUPPER superfulious callifragile —-
you know rhe resa=a=song—if you have a fucking brain! I am removin’ from MY Knife (and MY LIFe)! WP Brings OUT The Worst Liver WurtZ Parts of Me! I am trying to Be KIND!
But WP is turning this into a fukkkin STRUGGLE! I MAY AS WELL BE BACK IN IRAQ! LIFE WAS SO MUCH EASIER THEN! WP is Pissin’ Me The FUK OFF!
hAVE I failed to MENTION TODAY How MUCH I HATE WP?
My Girl!
Dedicated
To
That
Bitch
I admire
for
Her
Courage
My Girl!
Cordelia!
I LOVE HER
I use a lot.
A lot of
Profanity
What can I say?
I am a Texan / Sailor
Or a Sailor / Texan
‘Tis my nature.
Never mean to offend.
Perhaps I should mend
My speech a little.
Naw!
Fuck that!
***
From ‘Lear’:
CORDELIA:
“Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave
My heart into my mouth. I love your majesty
According to my bond, no more nor less.”
LEAR:
“How, how, Cordelia? Mend your speech a little,
Lest you may mar your fortunes.”
“Daddy! Me ”Fortunes’ Goy (Lil Lenny-Jew Humor there–if you don’t catch the ref—you need not be HERE!)
mY fukkin’g ‘fortunes never existed! marred long fukkin’ time ago!” Married some other
ASSHOLE!
NEVER CAUGHT Her NAME!
NOT THAT THAT WOULD MATTER! FUK Her1 FUK HER! FUCK THE WORLD!
(I really need to be….put down! For The Sake of hUMANITY —
OR at LEAST That FRAGILE Future of What Pipe Dreams it fkkin’ harbors for its lame-ass-self…. shit!
Ninety-nine and some chge of all creatures who ever walked or swam on this fukkin’ planet have gone xe-fukkin’ stink! You tink Homo-Sapiens are “special? Well a wink is as good as a nod to a blind fuckin’ horse!
***
Some
Asshole
Out
in
:”Radio-
Land
Needs
to “Hip”
Me!
Becuz
I am doin’
This
Shit
in
My
tireless
Effort
To
Fucking
“Entertaine
Yer
Dumb
–
Assesses!
Please
Believer
When
I
say,
I have
Better
shit
I
i Could do
To
Occupy
My
Fucking
MIND
But
I love
to
try
to
brighten
Your day!
In
My
Simp,ly
Way!
I fukkin’
work
REAL FUKKING
HARD
at
IT
goggamn it!
I work real hard for the money!
That money
I need so
desparately
Need
But
would
Never
Ever!
Ask
You
For!
I suppose
All I would love
Is a
Little
Simlple
“Fuckin’ Thank – You”
mAYBE JUST once per year!
What do that cost you?
A fucking
Mouse miss-fire?
It is not my desire to write in a fuckin’ vacuum!
I am here to try to make you laugh!
Spend the time!
Drop a
fukkin’ dime
But….
Honestly!
I don’t
Give a shit
I write for me
The rest of y’all
can
go get
wrecked!
I won’t miss
Y’all!
For
What you
are
Trying
To
Fucking
DO!
I do NOT
Fuck about!
I am
SMART!
i HAVE been
’round
The fuckin’
Whurl!
Three
Fukkin’
Times!
Do
Y’aa
Think
I
Cannot
Better Find
Ways
To
Waste
My
Fukking time?
And my MIND?
BUT I LOVE
MY READERS!
ALL FIVE OF YOU!!!!
Yeah! I know I’m an asshole!
Git over
That!
Or Git away from me!
I aint
lookin’ for your
fukkink’ smyan-me!
Go on!
Be a FUCKING
PHOTOGRAPH!
I’LL Frame you
And
HANG
You
On
My
“I love Me Wall”
Then
Everytime I see
I
See
you
I
will
Laugh
My
Fuckin’
Ass
Off!
Do you honestly
Wish
me
Dead?
Pretty
Sure
I can
fullfill
That
Vain
Fantasy you have!
Fuck all of this!
I AM SO
SICK
OF
LANCE!
HE AIN’T FIT TO LIVE
WITH!
JUST CALL ME
“HUD!”
gODDAMMMMMNIT!
And…..
In
closing
Let
Me
Say
This
About
This!!!!
“It ain’t
Easy
Bein’
Lance”
And that
is
All
I
got
To
say
About
That!
I do realize
I have
Lost
My fukkin’
Mind!
But
I will
Find it
Again
SometimeIt
Was here
Just a minute ago
Could not
Have
Strayed
Far!
Maybe
I
Just
miss-placed
In
My Pocket!
“Insaniity”
is
JUST
A
Scare
Word
For
Cowards!
God-Fuckin-Zilla
Crit Drinker!
I wish I Were Fukkin’ GAY!
(Don’t Worry–GIRLS–I ain’t!)
But I FUKKIN’; LOVE YOU Crit Drinker Man! I fukkin’ LOVE YOU!
MY MAN! YOU NAIL IT EVER’ FUKKIN’ TIME! GODDAMN FUKKIN’ DAMN!
