Fired Marshall: Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans, Chapter Six: FIRE! And Yes! I Shall Burn In Hell. For My Sins.

Did I Regurgitate. This Already?

Go Ahead!

Ask Me How many Fuks I Give!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en1uwIzI3SE

Immediately after Madelyn and I had heard the radio broadcast from Bonham, we went back downstairs to join Daddy and Gloria for supper.
As we we wading through the ‘First Course”, the telephone rang. Gloria got up and answered, Returned to the table and announced, rather tearful,
“Madelyn has just lost her job.”
“How so?” Daddy asked.
“Richard’s Jeans was destroyed in a fire.”
Maddy and I exchanged knowing glances, subtly.
“Still on the line?” Madelyn asked Gloria as she went to the telephone.
“Yes,” said Gloria. Maddy went to the phone had some short conversation. Hung up abruptly. Returned to the table and cast me a sideways glance, meaning to say,

“Do NOT say a Goddamn Word.”

Message received.

Understood

Loud and Clear

About twenty minutes later there was a vociferous loud aggressive knock on the front door of Marcom Manor.

No “Friend of Marcom” Ever Knocks Upon the Front Door–Only Interlopers, and they could be shot.

Marcom Manor


I got up to answer.
It was the Fannin County Fire Marshall.
(Shit!)
“Is there a Madelyn Marcom here?” he inquired.
“Sure” I said. “What do you want?”
“I need to ask her a few questions.”
“We are at supper.” I said.
“That’s okay. I’ll wait.”

I went back to our Norman Rockwell, sat down, poured some more ice tea…
“Who was that?” Gloria asked.
“Fire Marshall” I replied.
“Did he leave?”
“Naw. I parked him in the Parlor.”
“Dammit Lance! When were you gonna tell us?”
“As soon as we finished our supper.”
“What does he want?”
“He wants to talk to Madelyn.”
“Madelyn! You go talk to him. Now!”
Maddy got up and headed to the parlor.
Was I scared she would confess?
Oh Hell no!

Nevertheless, I got up and walked her to the parlor.

“Sister, don’t fuck this up.”
I got this,” was all she said.

******
To be continued.

*****

Hozier – Arsonist’s Lullaby

^^^^

Previously:

****

Bonus Just B’Cuz I’m a Texan Asshole!

****

Teaser for a Lil Sumthin’ I am Working On

Hud: Portrait of a Texas Heel

***

OH My Goodness gRAY–CRa–OUS! GOd! This Is Stupid And Probably Self-In Criminal-I-Zatin’ Ating. Ex-Panda-X-PandeR-red: 0534hrs, 11/11/2021– s. “Sorry God… Perhaps Next Time. Naw!”

Please Revisit

Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store,

Chapter Four

I added Some ‘I Love Lucy’ and ‘Speaker Sam’ Shit—

Bonham. LMFAO!

(And Lest I Forget: Ol’ Saint Nick)

No Jesu

RIP!

BTW I Always Hated

Bonham Texas

Just Sayin’

Gavin DeGraw – Fire:

*****

After my encounter with the Texas Highway Patrol,

Madelyn’s car and I limped into Bonham–Somewat spittin’ an’ a sputtterin’.

I was spittin’; the car was sputterin’…

(Madelyn was never worth-a-shit at maintaining her vehicle, or me, Her Ever- Loyal, Ever-Loving Brother…)

I drove through the ugliest Town Square in Texas and pulled into the alley behind Richard’s Jeans.

Bonham!

Gag Me!

What A Shit Hole!

The ONLY Saving Grace That Bonham Ever Had, or will Ever Have, is that Sam Rayburn Lived There

(and died there)

But He Wasn’t From There

He Was Born in Kingston, Tennessee

“Speaker Sam”

Sam Rayburn Library and Museum.

Bonham, Texas

*****

Parked the little Maddy Chariot, and ‘prayed’ it would crank when I was ready to depart.

Probably shoulda just left the engine running, but I ain’t all that smart.

Fished the key Madelyn had given me and walked around to the front door of the store.

Surveyed the square—weren’t no one there—was The Fourth of July, as I have said.

Let myself in.

Went back to the back door and let myself out.

Retrieved the lighter fluid from the car and went back inside.

I studied the layout of the store.

Several racks of jeans displayed in the middle of the establishment.

Perfect!

I douched two of them down with the lighter fluid.

Pulled out Maddy’s Zippo

Whoosh!

Beat feet out the back door.

Closed it behind me and then as an after-thought, I kicked it in.

Thinking I wanted this to look like arson.

Stupid decision on my part, looking back…

Anyhow, I jumped into The Lil Chariot.

Turned the ignition.

‘Clik clik clik!’

Shit!

Now, I was properly

FUCKED!

Stuck in the alley-way of a building I had just set to flame!

“Lucy, You got some Splainin’ to do!”

*******

Apparently, this was NEVER said in the Show–

This Revelation, Discovered so Late in My Life,

Has Ruined MY LIFE!

Street Cred for Vid: MoneyBags73

And YES!

I Searched All OVER The Internet!

Could NOT Find a Single Clip–Sound Nor Vid!

Shit!

What’s Next?

There Ain’t No Santa Claus??

Never Was?

And All That Wasted Postage I Mailed To a ‘Dead-Letter’ Box!

And Y’all Wonder Why Lance is an Atheist

********

I jumped out, popped the hood and, finding a piece of pipe lying on the ground, proceeded to beat the hell outta the starter. Slammed the hood.

Got back into the car and tried again.

She cranked right up!

I sped away in a cloud of dust and flying gravel.

Hoping Madelyn would love me so much more.

For Doing So Much More Than I Had Ever Done For Her Before

(If Y’all Don’t Read The Previous Chapters, None of This Will Make Any Sense–

Not That It Does Anyway…)

***

I LOVED

Madelyn

So Much!

To Be Continued…

*****

:

Chapter Two:

Chapter One:

*****

BONUS!

“Down The Road In A Cloud of SMOKE!”

JJ Walker

*****

OH Goodness GOd! This Is Stupid And Probably Self-In Criminal-I-Zatin’ Ating. Ex-Panda-X-PandeR-red: 0534hrs, 11/11/2021– s. “Sorry God… Perhaps Next Time. Naw!”

Please Revisit

“Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store, Chapter Four”

I added Some ‘I Love Lucy’ and ‘Speaker Sam’ Shit—

Bonham. LMFAO!

(And Lest I Forget: Ol’ Saint Nick) No Jesu

RIP!

BTW I Always Hated Bonham Texas

Just Sayin’

Gavin DeGraw – Fire:

*****

After my encounter with the Texas Highway Patrol,

Madelyn’s car and I limped into Bonham–Somewat spittin’ an’ a sputtterin’.

I was spittin’; the car was sputterin’…

(Madelyn was never worth-a-shit at maintaining her vehicle, or me, Her Ever- Loyal, Ever-Loving Brother…)

I drove through the ugliest Town Square in Texas and pulled into the alley behind Richard’s Jeans.

Bonham! Gag Me!

The ONLY Saving Grace That Bonham Ever Had, or will Ever Have, is that Sam Rayburn Lived There

(and died there)

But He Wasn’t From There

He Was Born in Kingston, Tennessee

“Speaker Sam”

Sam Rayburn Library and Museum.

Bonham, Texas

*****

Parked the little Maddy Chariot, and ‘prayed’ it would crank when I was ready to depart.

Probably shoulda just left the engine running, but I ain’t all that smart.

Fished the key Madelyn had given me and walked around to the front door of the store.

Surveyed the square—weren’t no one there—was The Fourth of July, as I have said.

Let myself in.

Went back to the back door and let myself out.

Retrieved the lighter fluid from the car and went back inside.

I studied the layout of the store.

Several racks of jeans displayed in the middle of the establishment.

Perfect!

I douched two of them down with the lighter fluid.

Pulled out Maddy’s Zippo

Whoosh!

Beat feet out the back door.

Closed it behind me and then as an after-thought, I kicked it in.

Thinking I wanted this to look like arson.

Stupid decision on my part, looking back…

Anyhow, I jumped into The Lil Chariot.

Turned the ignition.

‘Clik clik clik!’

Shit!

Now, I was properly

FUCKED!

Stuck in the alley-way of a building I had just set to flame!

“Lucy, You got some Splainin’ to do!”

*******

Apparently, this was NEVER said in the Show–

This Revelation, Discovered so Late in My Life,

Has Ruined MY LIFE!

Street Cred for Vid: MoneyBags73

And YES!

I Searched All OVER The Internet!

Could NOT Find a Single Clip–Sound Nor Vid!

Shit!

What’s Next?

There Ain’t No Santa Claus??

Never Was?

And All That Wasted Postage I Mailed To a ‘Dead-Letter’ Box!

And Y’all Wonder Why Lance is an Atheist

********

I jumped out, popped the hood and, finding a piece of pipe lying on the ground, proceeded to beat the hell outta the starter. Slammed the hood.

Got back into the car and tried again.

She cranked right up!

I sped away in a cloud of dust and flying gravel.

Hoping Madelyn would love me so much more.

For Doing So Much More Than I Had Ever Done For Her Before

(If Y’all Don’t Read The Previous Chapters, None of This Will Make Any Sense–

Not That It Does Anyway…)

***

To Be Continued…

*****

Chapter Three:

Chapter Two:

Chapter One:

*****

BONUS!

“Down The Road In A Cloud of SMOKE!”

JJ Walker

*****

“Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store. Denouement—End—All’s Well That… Oh Well… Fukkk This! I Miss My Sis!

After about thirty minutes Madelyn returned to the dinette table and sat down. Then quickly got up.

“I set, you clear” she said, glaring at me.

Gloria said, “Madelyn…?” But too late.

She had already hit the stairs. I could hear her taking them two at a time—a ‘trick’ she had learned from me. (Not really, but Maddy was like a new born pony–‘clumsy’ as a word, does not even approach description)

I quickly cleared the table and bound up the stairs after her.

Found her sitting on her bed, a little visibly shaken.

“How’d it go?” I asked breathlessly.

“He knows it was arson. Thanks to you, you dumb-ass. Why did you havta kick in the back door. Dude said at first they just thought it was the air conditioner—they were gonna go with that, but then he saw that SOME MORON had kicked in the back door. Why the fuck did you do THAT?!”

“I don’t know Sister. I don’t know. Maybe because I did not want it to look like an ‘inside’ job. I did let myself in with your key. I guess that was what I was thinking.”

“Electrical fires in ancient buildings are common. Ever think of that?”

“No.”

“Next time, think of that.”

“Look Sis, this will all blow over.”

“He said he would find out who did this. He was suspicious of me even. I heard it in his voice. Shit!”

“Do you still have all the shit you stole before I torched the joint?”

“Yes.”

“Get rid of it. Shit-can it. Or give it all to me. I’ll make it disappear. Now c’mere.”

I held her in my arms and told her not to fret. If it came down to it, I would take the fall.  We both knew things were gonna get brighter and be OK.

***

Ooh Child – Performed By An international Musical Collective

(‘Scrool’ Down a Mite)

I love The Red-Head, The Girl one! Must I explain Every Obvious Thing? Skit! I give! Go Get Wrecked! But Y’all Knew this Already

I am giving up on this post. Do What You fucking Will.

I am way past the point of Giving a Shit

GOOD LUCK TO aLL yOU yOUNG’UNS

(I am on the Back Nine of Life)

You’re Just Now tee’ing Off!

Make it Good!

“Dead Solid Perfect”

(Esoteric Larry McMurtry Book Ref–Look it up)

Ooh Child – Performed By An international Musical Collective

Vid Share Cred: bikfoot

****

I kissed her hair and told her I loved her.

She said she knew and thank you.

END

****

Author’s Footnote:

Nothing ever came of their ‘Investigation’ except burnt up blue jeans ash. They gave up and filed it away. And Maddy and I lived happily ever – after

(And we never conspired to burn down another building)

All the buildings I burned down down hence, I did solo.

****

I MISS HER SO FUCKING MUCH!

THIS IS TEARING ME APART AT THE SEAMS!

I need to Find a Way To Let Her Go

Let ME Go!

Let Me Off The Hook!

I Shoulda BEEN There!

Where the FUCK Was I???

I have no I Idea, but I know Where I wasn’t:

With Her!

Where I should Have Been!

Goddamn it!

Nightcore – iNSaNiTY

Street Cred for Vid: Zen – Kun

****

Previously:

^^^

Bonus On Us:

Lagertha || Queen Of Shield (Vikings)

Vid Cred: violentbilberry

Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store. Denouement—End—All’s Well That… Oh Well… Fukkk This! I Miss My Sis! If You Havn’t Figured Me Out By Now… You Need to go Away.

After about thirty minutes Madelyn returned to the dinette table and sat down. Then quickly got up.

“I set, you clear” she said, glaring at me.

Gloria said, “Madelyn…?” But too late.

She had already hit the stairs. I could hear her taking them two at a time—a ‘trick’ she had learned from me. (Not really, but Maddy was like a new born pony–‘clumsy’ as a word, does not even approach description)

I quickly cleared the table and bound up the stairs after her.

Found her sitting on her bed, a little visibly shaken.

“How’d it go?” I asked breathlessly.

“He knows it was arson. Thanks to you, you dumb-ass. Why did you havta kick in the back door. Dude said at first they just thought it was the air conditioner—they were gonna go with that, but then he saw that SOME MORON had kicked in the back door. Why the fuck did you do THAT?!”

“I don’t know Sister. I don’t know. Maybe because I did not want it to look like an ‘inside’ job. I did let myself in with your key. I guess that was what I was thinking.”

“Electrical fires in ancient buildings are common. Ever think of that?”

“No.”

“Next time, think of that.”

“Look Sis, this will all blow over.”

“He said he would find out who did this. He was suspicious of me even. I heard it in his voice. Shit!”

“Do you still have all the shit you stole before I torched the joint?”

“Yes.”

“Get rid of it. Shit-can it. Or give it all to me. I’ll make it disappear. Now c’mere.”

I held her in my arms and told her not to fret. If it came down to it, I would take the fall.  We both knew things were gonna get brighter and be OK.

***

Ooh Child – Performed By An international Musical Collective

(‘Scrool’ Down a Mite)

I love The Red-Head, The Girl one! Must I explain Every Obvious Thing?) Skit! I give! Go Get Wrecked! But Y’all Knew this Already

I am giving up on this post. Do What You fucking Will.

I am way past the point of Giving a Shit

GOOD LUCK TO aLL yOU yOUNG’UNS

(I am on the Back Nine of Life)

You’re Just Now tee’ing Off!

Make it Good!

“Dead Solid Perfect”

(Esoteric Larry McMurtry Book Ref–Look it up)

Ooh Child – Performed By An international Musical Collective

Vid Share Cred: bikfoot

****

I kissed her hair and told her I loved her.

She said she knew and thank you.

END

****

Author’s Footnote:

Nothing ever came of their ‘Investigation’ except burnt up blue jeans ash. They gave up and filed it away. And Maddy and I lived happily ever – after

(And we never conspired to burn down another building)

All the buildings I burned down down hence, I did solo.

****

I MISS HER SO FUCKING MUCH!

THIS IS TEARING ME APART AT THE SEAMS!

I need to Find a Way To Let Her Go

Let ME Go!

Let Me Off The Hook!

I Shoulda BEEN There!

Where the FUCK Was I???

I have no I Idea, but I know Where I wasn’t:

With Her!

Where I should Have Been!

Goddamn it!

Nightcore – iNSaNiTY

Street Cred for Vid: Zen – Kun

****

Previously:

^^^

Bonus On Us:

Lagertha || Queen Of Shield (Vikings)

Vid Cred: violentbilberry

Fired Marshall: Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Chapter Six

Immediately after Madelyn and I had heard the radio broadcast from Bonham, we went back downstairs to join Daddy and Gloria for supper.
As we we wading through the ‘First Course”, the telephone rang. Gloria got up and answered, Returned to the table and announced, rather tearful,
“Madelyn has just lost her job.”
“How so?” Daddy asked.
“Richard’s Jeans was destroyed in a fire.”
Maddy and I exchanged knowing glances, subtly.
“Still on the line?” Madelyn asked Gloria as she went to the telephone.
“Yes,” said Gloria. Maddy went to the phone had some short conversation. Hung up abruptly. Returned to the table and cast me a sideways glance, meaning to say,

“Do NOT say a Goddamn Word.”

Message received.

Understood

Loud and Clear

About twenty minutes later there was a vociferous loud aggressive knock on the front door of Marcom Manor.

No “Friend of Marcom” Ever Knocks Upon the Front Door–Only Interlopers, and they could be shot.

Marcom Manor


I got up to answer.
It was the Fannin County Fire Marshall.
(Shit!)
“Is there a Madelyn Marcom here?” he inquired.
“Sure” I said. “What do you want?”
“I need to ask her a few questions.”
“We are at supper.” I said.
“That’s okay. I’ll wait.”

I went back to our Norman Rockwell, sat down, poured some more ice tea…
“Who was that?” Gloria asked.
“Fire Marshall” I replied.
“Did he leave?”
“Naw. I parked him in the Parlor.”
“Dammit Lance! When were you gonna tell us?”
“As soon as we finished our supper.”
“What does he want?”
“He wants to talk to Madelyn.”
“Madelyn! You go talk to him. Now!”
Maddy got up and headed to the parlor.
Was I scared she would confess?
Oh Hell no!

Nevertheless, I got up and walked her to the parlor.

“Sister, don’t fuck this up.”
I got this,” was all she said.

******
To be continued.

*****

Hozier – Arsonist’s Lullaby

^^^^

Previously:

****

Bonus Just B’Cuz I’m a Texan Asshole!

****

Teaser for a Lil Sumthin’ I am Working On

Hud: Portrait of a Texas Heel

***