Tag Archives: Madelyn

Yes. I am A Moron! My Thanks-For-Giving-A Shit Is Rapidly Approach-Cha-Ching. Cha-Ching! Cha-Ching! And I’ll Cry If I Want To…

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And Rapidly Bringing Me Down…

OH Goody!

Yet Another Lonely Holiday I Get To Spend All Alone.

I’m Looking Forward to IT.

Alone:

Street Cred: thebandheart

***“

“Don’t Let It Bring You Down”

“Thanks Neil; I Won’t.”

Credit: Neil Young.

Have A Happy Thanks-Giving With Your Family. As I spend Mine All Alone On My Pity Party Train: All Aboard! “One More Madelyn Reminisce: Thanksgiving Seventy-Four or So…”

Scroll The Fuck Way Down If you Are Clueless in Texas

Melanie Martinez – Pity Party:

I’ll Cry if I Want To

“living inside my heart now”

Cred for Vid: gsxrjo

*******

Livin’ Inside My Heart

Cred for Share: Brown1969

Cred to Artist: Bob Seger

Ben Rector – The Thanksgiving Song:

Adam Sandler – Thanksgiving Song

Thanksgiving & Autumn Songs for Kids🌽

Thanksgiving Feast🌽Kids Turkey Songs by The Learning Station

Credit: #thelearningstation

‘Cause You’re Not Here!

Bitch!

Why?

Why Not?

I Loved / Love You So Much!

Madelyn!

Thunder Child

Martian’s Arrival

Once, during a Thanksgiving, we were all seated about the solid oak table (sat 14) in the ‘Great Hall’ of Marcom Manor. There was my ‘family’ such as it was… And a few invited guests from out of town.

Madelyn and I were seated next to each other…

Drinking wine

As usual.

There was salad and shit in front of us.

No turkey yet

Gloria, my bitch stepmother, got up and announced,

“I am going to get the turkey now.”

Madelyn rolled her eyes at me.

I laughed inside.

Gloria returned with her prize.

Madelyn would not eat a bite.

In spite of filling her plate…

Bitch Gloria (Madelyn’s Mom)

Asked, “Madelyn, aren’t you going to eat?”

Madelyn said, “No. I don’t wanna dilute my buzz.”

I laughed my ass off!

God!

Oh

My God!

How I miss her!

How much I miss her!

Especially This Time of Year!

Fuk it! I still MISS HER SO MUCH! So MARVELOUS Much! Goddamnit! Madelyn! Why did you Leave Me?! “How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?” I want My Sister Back! Fuck You God!

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/had-to-re-post-this-one-caint-stop-muckin-with-it-added-some-shit-richard-his-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-les-deux-my-love-my-sister-my-madelyn/

https://texantales.com/2021/10/27/abba-joni-madelyn-madelyn-madelyn-madelyn-madelyn-madelyn-cass-and-lance/

Ex-Panda-X-PandeRRR-Re-Red, Re-Tread: — Please Re-Visit. “Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store, Chapter Four– Stupid is as Stupid Does.” I Risked My Freedom For My Love of My Sister. Yep, But It Was Worth It.

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6

(And NO! Gentle Readers, No One Was Harmed–I Had Planned It That Way!, You See?)

I Often, Too Often…

Felt Like A Mother-Less Child.

I Suppose That is Why I Clung To Madelyn So Tight–She Was The Only One I Trusted

(And Truly Loved)

Up-Date: After Some Exhaustive ‘Research On My Part, I Have Discovered There Ain’t No ‘Statute-Of Limitations (Nor Expectations) On My Part.

Arson is That Gift That Keeps on Givin’.

So, I Just say This–To The Police: “Come At Me Bros, But Be Thee Fore-Warned: I am Armed & And Dangerous

& Crazy

***

I added Some ‘I Love Lucy’ and ‘Speaker Sam’—Bonham. LMFAO! (And Lest I Forget: Ol’ Saint Nick) No Jesus. “Sorry God… Perhaps Next Time. Naw! Never-Mind! Find Some Other Tree To Bark At”

RIP!

Gavin DeGraw – Fire:

*****

After my encounter with the Texas Highway Patrol,

Madelyn’s car and I limped into Bonham–Somewat spittin’ an’ a sputtterin’.

I was spittin’; the car was sputterin’…

(Madelyn was never worth-a-shit at maintaining her vehicle, or me…)

I drove through the ugliest Town Square in Texas and pulled into the alley behind Richard’s Jeans.

Bonham! Gag Me!

The ONLY Saving Grace That Bonham Ever Had, or will Ever Have, is that Sam Rayburn Lived There

(and died there)

But He Wasn’t From There

He Was Born in Kingston, Tennessee

“Speaker Sam”

Sam Rayburn Library and Museum.

Bonham, Texas

*****

Parked the little Maddy Chariot, and ‘prayed’ it would crank when I was ready to depart.

Probably shoulda just left the engine running, but I ain’t all that smart.

Fished the key Madelyn had given me and walked around to the front door of the store.

Surveyed the square—weren’t no one there—was The Fourth of July, as I have said.

Let myself in.

Went back to the back door and let myself out.

Retrieved the lighter fluid from the car and went back inside.

I studied the layout of the store.

Several racks of jeans displayed in the middle of the establishment.

Perfect!

I douched two of them down with the lighter fluid.

Pulled out Maddy’s Zippo

Whoosh!

Beat feet out the back door.

Closed it behind me and then as an after-thought, I kicked it in.

Thinking I wanted this to look like arson.

Stupid decision on my part, looking back…

Anyhow, I jumped into The Lil Chariot.

Turned the ignition.

‘Clik clik clik!’

Shit!

Now, I was properly

FUCKED!

Stuck in the alley-way of a building I had just set to flame!

“Lucy, You got some Splainin’ to do!”

*******

Apparently, this was NEVER said in the Show–

This Revelation, Discovered so Late in My Life,

Has Ruined MY LIFE!

Street Cred for Vid: MoneyBags73

And YES!

I Searched All OVER The Internet!

Could NOT Find a Single Clip–Sound Nor Vid!

Shit!

What’s Next?

There Ain’t No Santa Claus??

Never Was?

And All That Wasted Postage I Mailed To a ‘Dead-Letter’ Box!

And Y’all Wonder Why Lance is an Atheist

********

I jumped out, popped the hood and, finding a piece of pipe lying on the ground, proceeded to beat the hell outta the starter. Slammed the hood.

Got back into the car and tried again.

She cranked right up!

I sped away in a cloud of dust and flying gravel.

Hoping Madelyn would love me so much more.

For Doing So Much More Than I Had Ever Done For Her Before

(If Y’all Don’t Read The Previous Chapters, None of This Will Make Any Sense–

Not That It Does Anyway…)

***

To Be Continued…

*****

Chapter Three:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/08/richards-lame-ass-jeans-chapter-three-highway-patrol-encounter-on-my-way-to-the-scene-of-the-crime/

Chapter Two:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/had-to-re-post-this-one-caint-stop-muckin-with-it-added-some-shit-richard-his-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-les-deux-my-love-my-sister-my-madelyn/

Chapter One:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/this-is-a-work-of-fiction-because-i-do-not-know-if-there-is-a-statute-of-limitations-on-arson-not-any-word-of-this-story-is-true-it-is-all-fiction-that-said-this-is-another-madelyn-lance-tale/

*****

BONUS!

“Down The Road In A Cloud of SMOKE!”

JJ Walker

*****

It’s My Blog, And… I’ll Cry If I Want to… WTF is WRONG / WITH ME? Emilly? I Am So All … Alone! Why? I Am Relitively Handsome–For Fu*K’s Sake.

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0

I Will Survive—Stay alive”

My Family are all ded

Fu*K Them!

I am all alone

Have A Happy Early Thanks-Giving With Your Family. As I spend … What’s Left of My Family They are all Ded… Only I Survive .. Why? I do Not deserve this. I have Been around the world, Far Too Many times

y

Melanie Martinez – Pity Party:

T Stupid, (And he Loves Joni Mitch’ll) Fuk All Y’all!

I’ll Cry if I Want To

“living inside my heart now”

Cred for Vid: gsxrjo

*******

Livin’ Inside My Heart

Cred for Share: Brown1969

Cred to Artist: Bob Seger

Ben Rector – The Thanksgiving Song:

Adam Sandler – Thanksgiving Song

Thanksgiving & Autumn Songs for Kids🌽

Thanksgiving Feast🌽Kids Turkey Songs by The Learning Station

‘Cause You’re Not Here!

Bitch!

Why?

Why Not?

I Loved / Love You So Much!

Madelyn!

Thunder Child

Martian’s Arrival

Once, during a Thanksgiving, we were all seated about the solid oak table (sat 14) in the ‘Great Hall’ of Marcom Manor. There was my ‘family’ such as it was… And a few invited guests from out of town.

Madelyn and I were seated next to each other…

Drinking wine

As usual.

There was salad and shit in front of us.

No turkey yet

Gloria, my bitch stepmother, got up and announced,

“I am going to get the turkey now.”

Madelyn rolled her eyes at me.

I laughed inside.

Gloria returned with her prize.

Madelyn would not eat a bite.

In spite of filling her plate…

Bitch Gloria (Madelyn’s Mom)

Asked, “Madelyn, aren’t you going to eat?”

Madelyn said, “No. I don’t wanna dilute my buzz.”

I laughed my ass off!

God!

Oh

My God!

How I miss her!

How much I miss her!

Especially This Time of Year!

Fuk it! I still MISS HER SO MUCH! So MARVELOUS Much! Goddamnit! Madelyn! Why did you Leave Me?! “How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?” I want My Sister Back! Fuck You God!

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/had-to-re-post-this-one-caint-stop-muckin-with-it-added-some-shit-richard-his-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-les-deux-my-love-my-sister-my-madelyn/

https://texantales.com/2021/10/27/abba-joni-madelyn-madelyn-madelyn-madelyn-madelyn-madelyn-cass-and-lance/

(I NEVER Write FICTION!) This is a TRUE STORY! “Fired Marshall: Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans, Chapter Six: FIRE! And Yes! I Shall Burn In Hell. For My Sins.”

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Did I Regurgitate. This Already?

Go Ahead!

Ask Me How many Fuks I Give!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en1uwIzI3SE

Immediately after Madelyn and I had heard the radio broadcast from Bonham, we went back downstairs to join Daddy and Gloria for supper.
As we we wading through the ‘First Course”, the telephone rang. Gloria got up and answered, Returned to the table and announced, rather tearful,
“Madelyn has just lost her job.”
“How so?” Daddy asked.
“Richard’s Jeans was destroyed in a fire.”
Maddy and I exchanged knowing glances, subtly.
“Still on the line?” Madelyn asked Gloria as she went to the telephone.
“Yes,” said Gloria. Maddy went to the phone had some short conversation. Hung up abruptly. Returned to the table and cast me a sideways glance, meaning to say,

“Do NOT say a Goddamn Word.”

Message received.

Understood

Loud and Clear

About twenty minutes later there was a vociferous loud aggressive knock on the front door of Marcom Manor.

No “Friend of Marcom” Ever Knocks Upon the Front Door–Only Interlopers, and they could be shot.

Marcom Manor


I got up to answer.
It was the Fannin County Fire Marshall.
(Shit!)
“Is there a Madelyn Marcom here?” he inquired.
“Sure” I said. “What do you want?”
“I need to ask her a few questions.”
“We are at supper.” I said.
“That’s okay. I’ll wait.”
I went back to our Norman Rockwell, sat down, poured some more ice tea…
“Who was that?” Gloria asked.
“Fire Marshall” I replied.
“Did he leave?”
“Naw. I parked him in the Parlor.”
“Dammit Lance! When were you gonna tell us?”
“As soon as we finished our supper.”
“What does he want?”
“He wants to talk to Madelyn.”
“Madelyn! You go talk to him. Now!”
Maddy got up and headed to the parlor.
Was I scared she would confess?
Oh Hell no!

Nevertheless, I got up and walked her to the parlor.

“Sister, don’t fuck this up.”
“I got this,” was all she said.

******
To be continued.

*****

Hozier – Arsonist’s Lullaby

^^^^

Previously:

Please Re-Vist This! I Need Some Courage To Finish It! There is too Much Macbeth/Hamlet in Me! “Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store, Chapter Five: “I Have Done The Deed! Sleep No More!” Milady Macbeth”
https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/this-is-a-work-of-fiction-because-i-do-not-know-if-there-is-a-statute-of-limitations-on-arson-not-any-word-of-this-story-is-true-it-is-all-fiction-that-said-this-is-another-madelyn-lance-tale/

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/had-to-re-post-this-one-caint-stop-muckin-with-it-added-some-shit-richard-his-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-les-deux-my-love-my-sister-my-madelyn/

https://texantales.com/2021/11/08/richards-lame-ass-jeans-chapter-three-highway-patrol-encounter-on-my-way-to-the-scene-of-the-crime/

https://texantales.com/2021/11/11/richards-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-four/

****

Bonus Just B’Cuz I’m a Texan Asshole!

****

Teaser for a Lil Sumthin’ I am Working On

Hud: Portrait of a Texas Heel

***

THIS IS A WORK OF FRICTION. B’Leave That Shite? Well Then, I Own London Bridge. Wanna Purchase It? Free Delivery–CONUS Only! Alaska & Hawaii? Go Get Wrecked!

by

0

“Fire” —

I Am the God of Hellfire!

(1968) by Arthur Brown

Bonham. LMFAO!

(And Lest I Forget: Ol’ Saint Nick)

No Jesus.

“Sorry God… Better Luck Next Time”

Naw!

RIP!

Hey Zeus!

Gavin DeGraw – Fire:

*****

After my encounter with the Texas Highway Patrol,

Madelyn’s car and I limped into Bonham–Somewat spittin’ an’ a sputtterin’.

I was spittin’; the car was sputterin’…

(Madelyn was never worth-a-shit at maintaining her vehicle, or me…)

I drove through the ugliest Town Square in Texas and pulled into the alley behind Richard’s Jeans.

Bonham! Gag Me!

The ONLY Saving Grace That Bonham Ever Had,

Or will Ever Have, is that Sam Rayburn Lived There

(and died there)

But He Wasn’t From There

He Was Born in Kingston, Tennessee

“Speaker Sam”

Sam Rayburn Library and Museum.

Bonham, Texas

*****

Parked the little Maddy Chariot, and ‘prayed’ it would crank when I was ready to depart.

Probably shoulda just left the engine running, but I.. I Have Never Been accused of being smart.

Fished the key Madelyn had given me and walked around to the front door of the store.een accused of beintg smar

Surveyed the square—weren’t no one there—was The Fourth of July, as I have said.

Let myself in.

Went back to the back door and let myself out.

Retrieved the lighter fluid from the car and went back inside.

I studied the layout of the store.

Several racks of jeans displayed in the middle of the establishment.

Perfect!

I douched two of them down with the lighter fluid.

Pulled out Maddy’s Zippo

Whoosh!

Beat feet out the back door.

Closed it behind me and then as an after-thought, I kicked it in.

Thinking I wanted this to look like arson.

Stupid decision on my part, looking back…

Anyhow, I jumped into The Lil Chariot.

Turned the ignition.

‘Clik clik clik!’

Shit!

Now, I was properly

FUCKED!

Stuck in the alley-way of a building I had just set to flame!

“Lucy, You got some Splainin’ to do!”

*******

Apparently, this was NEVER said in the Show–

This Revelation, Discovered so Late in My Life,

Has Ruined MY LIFE!

Street Cred for Vid: MoneyBags73

And YES!

I Searched All OVER The Internet!

Could NOT Find a Single Clip–Sound Nor Vid!

Shit!

What’s Next?

There Ain’t No Santa Claus??

Never Was?

And All That Wasted Postage I Mailed To a ‘Dead-Letter’ Box!

And Y’all Wonder Why Lance is an Atheist

********

I jumped out, popped the hood and, finding a piece of pipe lying on the ground, proceeded to beat the hell outta the starter. Slammed the hood.

Got back into the car and tried again.

She cranked right up!

I sped away in a cloud of dust and flying gravel.

Hoping Madelyn would love me so much more.

For Doing So Much More Than I Had Ever Done For Her Before. If Y’all Don’t Read The Previous Chapters, None of This Will Make Any Sense–

Not That It Will Anyway…

Lance & Madelyn:

Yeah , We Were Hot For Each Other!

***

To Be Continued…

*****

Chapter Three:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/08/richards-lame-ass-jeans-chapter-three-highway-patrol-encounter-on-my-way-to-the-scene-of-the-crime/

Chapter Two:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/had-to-re-post-this-one-caint-stop-muckin-with-it-added-some-shit-richard-his-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-les-deux-my-love-my-sister-my-madelyn/

Chapter One:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/this-is-a-work-of-fiction-because-i-do-not-know-if-there-is-a-statute-of-limitations-on-arson-not-any-word-of-this-story-is-true-it-is-all-fiction-that-said-this-is-another-madelyn-lance-tale/

*****

BONUS!

“Down The Road In A Cloud of SMOKE!”

—JJ Walker

“Say ‘Goodbye’ to the Landlord for me;

Sons-A-Bitches

Always Bore Me”

*****

“Happy Ending to the Story”

Me And Maddy Pulled it Off

Do Not Read This–It Is A Pity Party–I Wept For Me–For My Loss. Maddy Would Always Call Me Out Whenever I Tried To Spring My Bull-Shit On Her. I Miss Her So Fuckin’ Much!

OH My Goodness gRAY–CRa–OUS! GOd! This Is Stupid And Probably Self-In Criminal-I-Zatin’ Ating. Ex-Panda-X-PandeR-red: 0534hrs, 11/11/2021– s. “Sorry God… Perhaps Next Time. Naw!”

by

0

Please Revisit

Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store,

Chapter Four

I added Some ‘I Love Lucy’ and ‘Speaker Sam’ Shit—

Bonham. LMFAO!

(And Lest I Forget: Ol’ Saint Nick)

No Jesu

RIP!

BTW I Always Hated

Bonham Texas

Just Sayin’

Gavin DeGraw – Fire:

*****

After my encounter with the Texas Highway Patrol,

Madelyn’s car and I limped into Bonham–Somewat spittin’ an’ a sputtterin’.

I was spittin’; the car was sputterin’…

(Madelyn was never worth-a-shit at maintaining her vehicle, or me, Her Ever- Loyal, Ever-Loving Brother…)

I drove through the ugliest Town Square in Texas and pulled into the alley behind Richard’s Jeans.

Bonham!

Gag Me!

What A Shit Hole!

The ONLY Saving Grace That Bonham Ever Had, or will Ever Have, is that Sam Rayburn Lived There

(and died there)

But He Wasn’t From There

He Was Born in Kingston, Tennessee

“Speaker Sam”

Sam Rayburn Library and Museum.

Bonham, Texas

*****

Parked the little Maddy Chariot, and ‘prayed’ it would crank when I was ready to depart.

Probably shoulda just left the engine running, but I ain’t all that smart.

Fished the key Madelyn had given me and walked around to the front door of the store.

Surveyed the square—weren’t no one there—was The Fourth of July, as I have said.

Let myself in.

Went back to the back door and let myself out.

Retrieved the lighter fluid from the car and went back inside.

I studied the layout of the store.

Several racks of jeans displayed in the middle of the establishment.

Perfect!

I douched two of them down with the lighter fluid.

Pulled out Maddy’s Zippo

Whoosh!

Beat feet out the back door.

Closed it behind me and then as an after-thought, I kicked it in.

Thinking I wanted this to look like arson.

Stupid decision on my part, looking back…

Anyhow, I jumped into The Lil Chariot.

Turned the ignition.

‘Clik clik clik!’

Shit!

Now, I was properly

FUCKED!

Stuck in the alley-way of a building I had just set to flame!

“Lucy, You got some Splainin’ to do!”

*******

Apparently, this was NEVER said in the Show–

This Revelation, Discovered so Late in My Life,

Has Ruined MY LIFE!

Street Cred for Vid: MoneyBags73

And YES!

I Searched All OVER The Internet!

Could NOT Find a Single Clip–Sound Nor Vid!

Shit!

What’s Next?

There Ain’t No Santa Claus??

Never Was?

And All That Wasted Postage I Mailed To a ‘Dead-Letter’ Box!

And Y’all Wonder Why Lance is an Atheist

********

I jumped out, popped the hood and, finding a piece of pipe lying on the ground, proceeded to beat the hell outta the starter. Slammed the hood.

Got back into the car and tried again.

She cranked right up!

I sped away in a cloud of dust and flying gravel.

Hoping Madelyn would love me so much more.

For Doing So Much More Than I Had Ever Done For Her Before

(If Y’all Don’t Read The Previous Chapters, None of This Will Make Any Sense–

Not That It Does Anyway…)

***

I LOVED

Madelyn

So Much!

To Be Continued…

*****

:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/08/richards-lame-ass-jeans-chapter-three-highway-patrol-encounter-on-my-way-to-the-scene-of-the-crime/

Chapter Two:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/had-to-re-post-this-one-caint-stop-muckin-with-it-added-some-shit-richard-his-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-les-deux-my-love-my-sister-my-madelyn/

Chapter One:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/this-is-a-work-of-fiction-because-i-do-not-know-if-there-is-a-statute-of-limitations-on-arson-not-any-word-of-this-story-is-true-it-is-all-fiction-that-said-this-is-another-madelyn-lance-tale/

*****

BONUS!

“Down The Road In A Cloud of SMOKE!”

JJ Walker

*****